Freshly DREWed!

EVENTS :     “Hello, Garci?” at Funnside

Last night was such a BLAST! I went to Funnside Entertainment Restaurant and Bar for the launching of Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism’s (PCIJ) 3^rd joke book entitled “Hello, Garci? Political Humor in the Cellphone Age”. I went with my UP blockmate Caloi who also works for a government agency. We arrived at the venue a bit too early and so we hanged out at a nearby Shakey’s Pizza. Past 6:30 in the evening, we decided to return to the site. The restaurant/bar was spacious and had a particular Halloween motif to it. The place was already teeming with people, mostly of which were journalists and media men. I spotted a few academicians, one of which was my former teacher and Caloi’s favorite – Professor Filomeno Sta. Ana, and a seasoned politician / stark oppositionist Representative Eta Rosales. Former Department of Social Welfare and Development Secretary and one of the famous persona of the infamous “Hyatt 10” defectors, Ms. Dinky Soliman, was also present.

Anyway, the main event started shortly after PCIJ Executive Director and Ramon Magsaysay Awardee, Ms. Sheila Coronel, delivered the opening statement. Prolific songwriter/singer/activist Mr. Gary Granada kicked off with his unique blend of cool tunes and subtle lyrics. The audience TOOK PLEASURE in his riveting songs and wanted to hear more from his humble talent. He continued to soothe our ears with his satire and everybody seemed to enjoy every minute with him onstage. After his memorable performance came the crowd favorite – comic chameleon and television host Mr. Jon Santos. As usual, he entered the stage masquerading as “Ms. Armida Siguon-Reyna Macarena” and everybody was already jovial at his mere presence. When he began his routine, everybody was just laughing frantically and even I had a hard time maintaining my composure because I simply could not resist the INDULGENCE! He was so darn good and simply hilarious. After that major laughtrip, I lined up to the buffet table and feasted at the nifty selection of finger foods. I bought myself a copy of the joke book and below is just a sampler of what’s inside:

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Question:      What is the difference of Malacañang and Chowking?              Answer:    Chowking has rice toppings while Malacañang has WIRE TAPPINGS!

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Worst Pinoy curses: May you have GMA’s HEIGHT, Ramos’s FIDELITY, Ping’s GENDER, Gringo’s LOYALTY, Mike’s HONESTY, Erap’s WISDOM and Cory’s DAUGHTER.

***

Mike and Mikey are not “Sacrificial Lambs”. They’re “Sacrificial PIGS”.

NEWS :     Wits in the Nick of Time!

I almost had it with public transportation this morning! On my way to work, I crossed paths with the criminal mind once AGAIN. The first time was a bit traumatic because I got held-up and my cellphone was taken. This time, luck (or should I say WITS) was on my side…

While my first ride was cruising along Taft Avenue – Manila City, 4 men boarded  the ‘jeepney’ and one of them sat at my left side while another on the other side of the seating row facing towards me. Minutes later, while I was glimpsing at my Omega De Ville gold watch, the one beside me asked politely what time is it. I told him “It’s 8:50 in the morning”. This could have been a typical stranger’s request but a few seconds still, the man in front of me suddenly panicked and started patting the lower right end of my jeans. He told me “A centipede crept up to your jeans!” and so I looked down and started wiggling my right leg. FYI: I am SO afraid of legged-wormlike insects because I witnessed one chasing me down the garage from a fallen mango tree. It was so scary I run like hell!

Anyway, I patted and patted and then I noticed the other passengers were looking at me and the man facing me. I did not feel anything creeping up my legs so I doubted for a second and uttered “I don’t feel a thing down there. I don’t think anything is down there at all.” The man insisted SOMETHING creepy went up my jeans. Suddenly the other man beside me started patting the left end of my jeans too! And now there are three of us and I got this nasty feeling that something is quite not right.

I peeked at the other passengers but they were just staring at us (and my jeans) silently. I took my head up stopped moving my leg and I looked around still. I noticed that the man beside me has his backpack covering a part of my upper left torso and suddenly I heard my watch SNAP and saw my watch dangling precariously at my left wrist. I stared at him ANGRILY and everything around me stopped moving (even the jeepney halted). He dashed instantaneously outside the vehicle then the man on the opposite seating row also did the same thing seconds after. This is when everybody else started talking and asked me if I lost something like a wallet or my mobile phone. I checked my bag and it was intact, no slashes and no opened zippers. I secured my watch (which is undamaged by the way) and just listened at how the passengers made those nasty comments about these filthy street criminals – cursing their kind and wishing their souls burn in hell (HEY, why not make them suffer while they are still here on earth!). I grin and nod at their every comment but deep inside, I felt a huge sign of relief on my part because they did not have their way with me. I’ve learned from my previous experience last year to always be on red alert no matter where I am. I know it’s bad to be very distrustful of strangers around me but this is REALITY and there will always be crooks out there. I didn’t bother passing by the Police Station on my way to work because I don’t want to be late. Besides, the last time I reported an incident similar to this, nothing happened.

"Where the hell could that ‘centipede’ come from? We are in a freaking moving vehicle and not in the open fields for God’s sake!" (an agitated passenger)

DESKTOP :     Varying Colors…

During my frequent visits to deviantART.com, I came across the gallery of Brazilian digital artist Celso Junior. His works were just AMAZING that I can’t take my eyes off each piece! He specializes obviously in vector illustrations and each artwork he does is just bursting with colors. I happen to be a SUCKER for landscape shots and with his unique rendition, the variety of colors just made the image look more stunning! Well anyway, below is just a preview of the raw talent this guys has. You can visit his gallery and take your pick, download your chosen piece and set it as a desktop image FULL VIEW. I promise you, you’ll never have a dull moment with his masterpiece right infront of you. Just don’t forget to revert back to “work mode” after staring at your desktop for hours or your boss will catch up with you!

Oh and if you like to learn the “nooks and cranny” of his works, just download the Adobe Tutorial he made. It’s fairly simple yet very hands-on. Search for this in his gallery.

"Yes, yes! More colors…" (-drools-)

EVENTS :     “Twin Bill” at Koiné One Acts

I was never the ‘theatre-going’ individual. The last theatrical performance I watched before this one was way back in college when my professor told the class that the play itself will be part of the final exams. Oh well, the primary reason would be that theatrical productions are EXPENSIVE. Anyway, this perception still remained however, due to curiosity and my classmates’ insistence, I purchased a P 200 ticket to a play entitled “S.A.W.I.”, a convenient abbreviation to the phrase ‘single ako, warning ito’ (I’m single, this is a warning).

On that faithful Saturday night, minutes before the play, my classmates and I waited anxiously at the lobby of Koiné One Acts thinking of what the production would be. I’ve never been to a play for a long time and I wanted to get my money’s worth – every single centavo of it! As soon as we were led into the dark room and the emcee (who is no other than the renowned Director Niel De Mesa himself) started briefing us, we were so excited that I can feel my room mate’s body shiver and everyone uttering OOHs and AAHs…

The nostalgic play is actually very real and quirky that the audience cannot stop laughing their hearts off! The play centers on a college lass grieving over the fact that everyone around her continually bugs her with the seemingly simple yet hurtful QUESTION of “Do you have a boyfriend already”. Then her three male pals enter the scene and make the situation even harder for her by forcing her to choose one of them to be her boyfriend.

The format is not that new because I have seen a lot of movies with the similar theme. But the way the play presented itself, the complexities of each character, the memorable spoofs, and the nasty circumstances each of them has experienced in the past, made everything amazing and just downright WACKY!

I thought the fun was all over after an hour and a half has passed but luckily, there was another play to be shown in tandem with the first one. “Starring Miss Lea Salonda” (with reference to the local talent turned international star Lea Salonga) is somewhat a backstage skit of the renowned play “Le Miserable”. This WITTY play centers on the exploits of a somewhat deranged director and his idealist writer devising side-splitting schemes to scam the public to watch their theatrical production. More than just a comical parody, this masterpiece is actually an EYE-OPENER of the real situation of theatrical arts in the Philippines – making fun of all the recent sell-out plays sensationalized by the commercialized industry.

I enjoyed both performances very much that I actually thought that the P 200 ticket I paid for was not enough to pay homage to the stage actors’ brilliant performances that night. They were really great and on top of this, the director and the actors themselves remain humble and vigilant to their cause vowing never to sell-out and give in to commercialized mediocrity – no matter how sensationalized.

"What we’ve got onstage, they don’t have in the movies.” (Director Niel De Mesa)

EVENTS :     “CineEuropa 8”

Last week I had my full serving of movie marathon at the Shangri-La Plaza. Although a week has already passed after this event, I still CHERISH the good times I had which reminded me of my ‘film buff’ days before I became a full time working professional. CineEuropa 8 may have concluded last 02 October 2005 but I look forward to next year’s line up as every year since it’s first screening in the Philippines way back 1997 (YES, my mom and I were big fans of CineEuropa thanks to an aunt who gave us privilege passes then).

For this year, I came to know of this happening through my good pal Annie, who happens to be a film FANATIC too! We watched Italy’s “L’Uomo In Piu” and Spain’s “Extranjeras” from 7:00pm till 11:30pm that night. Both movies were a bit melodramatic but the output is still good. The first film struck the audience as a typical drama involving the existence of two successful men whose lives suddenly came crashing down due to cruel fate (the ending wasn’t all that heartbreaking…). The second one was unexpectedly an insightful documentary on female immigrants living in Spain. Too bad, the repertoire didn’t include a Filipina because if it did, the film may have been a whole lot more interesting…

The second night was a terrific BLAST! I came to the venue together with my Thai classmates to watch Germany’s “Kroko” and the most sought after movie for this year’s line-up, Netherlands’ “Liever Verliefd”. The German film centers on ‘bratinella’ Kroko, the domineering street gang leader that underwent a character transformation from a total skank into a caring and sentimental individual. She’s essentially a bitch with a heart if you may say so. And oh, I almost forgot to tell you, she’s damn HOT! I never got the hots for a blonde babe before (I usually fall for the brunettes and redheads).

Anyway, my Thai classmates weren’t able to stay for the last movie of the night. I thought I was gonna be bored because I’m all alone but fortunately, there were a lot of UP people (students and alumni from my college alma mater) in the crowd I was able to interact with. Our group immediately bonded while waiting at the QUEUE line infront of the theatre. We were the typical group of movie enthusiasts, always grabbing every opportunity to watch quality films (especially when it’s FREE), talking and joking around while in line, comparing the films we watched and sometimes, just airing out our personal insights on politics and stuff (Intellectual discussions eh?). Because of that, I enjoyed their company very much. When the theatre started letting people coming (and there were lots of us by the way), we rushed into our seats and eagerly waited for the screening of the scheduled film.

Netherlands’ offering is basically a sex comedy about a girl (who bears a striking resemblance to Uma Thurman, only a bit healthier and wackier) who was so fed up with the whole ‘love thingy’ that she decided to act as how men act in relationships, non-committal and polygamous. She ends up dating an adventurous and hunky construction worker and later managed to hook up with an idealist and romantic musician (who isn’t?). She juggles them in the palm of her hands while the two guys, who by the way are room mates, boast about their dates not knowing that they were actually talking about a single person (STUPID!). The two men fall in love with her and she becomes confused because she has equally fallen in love with both (oh my, what a dilemma indeed) despite her earlier vow never to fall in love again! There were a lot of comical twists and turns but eventually, in a gripping fiasco, she was discovered and that is the only time she knew that both guys actually know each other not only as room mates but best friends for life as well (shocker isn’t it?). Anti-climactic? That’s what you think. The ending was unexpected, WEIRD but funny (and maybe true who knows…) and the audience stood up and applauded to their hearts content. Of course there were those signature European frontal nudity scenes but these were done in a humorous way rather than sexual or romantic. And in these shots, most of the viewers either cringed in their seat or laughed rather frantically. Imagine this: seeing a B&W profile shot of a man with his head cropped out, his penis hanging by his legs, a funny profile statement at the side saying what he’s proud of and what he’s embarrassed of, but guess what – he has real woman’s boobies (WTF!). How about this one: a naked stout old lady with her sagging flesh all around her! Everytime a major character first appears on screen, the movie stops and a B&W profile shot of him/her naked is shown for a few seconds. I also liked the soundtrack because it was jampacked with a lot of English pop songs that reminded me of Richard Curtis’ “Love Actually”. I went home that night with a big smile on my face because of this memorable movie.

On the last day, I was still able to watch Finland’s “Koirankynnen Leikkaaja”. Another poignant film in the line-up, I was DEEPLY MOVED because like the central character, I was a dog lover myself. The protagonist was once a promising soldier who nearly died in the war as he was shot in the back of his head rendering him a bit retarded (always jovial). After he was abandoned by those he knew, including his fiancée, an old wartime colleague found him and gave him sustenance. To make the movie more endearing, everybody he meets treated him with utmost kindness including the boss of the lumber company where he worked rather carelessly because of his mental handicap. He became attached to a domesticated dog and became, as what the English title suggested, a ‘dog nail clipper’ for a short time.

Oh well, I think I went too much for today’s blog. I apologize, this is just how appreciative I am of film festivals composed of top caliber films, whether foreign or local. Next time I’ll  be releasing the schedule of upcoming film festivals prior to the event. Until then …

"Wow! European films for free? I’m definitely in!" (a typical Filipino movie enthusiast)

CRITIQUE :     Demystifying the Descent…

I didn’t expect a low-key horror movie such as Neil Marshall’s “The Descent” to be this good! After the advent of all those incessant Asian thrillers, I have to say that this British production gave a good fight. The story is quite simple, a typical group of adventure-seeking individuals enter a creepy cave (ah yes, everybody’s favorite setting for a horror film) only to get stuck by some unforeseen event (sounds FAMILIAR already?). Everybody goes haywire and eventually the group discovers a fatal mistake that one of their most trusted colleagues made. Someone ventures out (as always…) and makes a shocking discovery that they are NOT ALONE. Nobody believes at first but when the skeletons come out of the closet (Literally!) then the monsters come out to play, everybody panics and one-by-one, well, you know pretty damn well what happens to them next. Of course there will always be the ‘alpha-male’ (or female in this instance) who will stand out from the bullied gang and make easy kills with the seemingly gross but pathetic villains.

The thing about this movie that made it look really REALLY good was because of the scare factor. The very first scene of the fully exposed monster (or “crawler”) was effective in scaring the hell out of me! As for the looks, well I didn’t expect as much. They are basically humanoid in body feature with slimy gray complexion, cannibalistic teeth formation, skinny face with dominant skull feature and blind white bulging eyes (typical of a cave dweller). There was no historical explanation offered as to how these creatures came to be but fortunately, one of the heroines may have specialized in Biology and so she came up with a scientific theory similar to that of bats hunting in the dark. Too bad she got eaten too starting from the lower portion of her body (OOPS! I shouldn’t have spoiled that…). My most favorite scene in the entire movie would have to be that part where the lead actress was being chased away from a bone yard making her slip into a thick pool of blood the size of a Jacuzzi. She emerged just as she was and got off to a fresh start but not after wrestling with a female crawler stalking her. This sequence reminded me of gals wrestling in mud – a very hot yet gruesome scene indeed! You can always depend on the Brits’ preference for human gore and libido…

Anyway, the ending is downright scary and frustrating. The whole movie itself is so TWISTED in a lot of aspects that the audience was left hanging by the edge of their seats. The title is quite obvious not just because of what the heroines did (re: descending into the caves) but also that of the psychological effect it had to the characters (re: descent to madness, emotional absence, and primal instincts). I’d give this movie a rating of 1.25 out of 4 (University of the Philippines’ grading scale).

"Ugh! So messy, just like my first period." (a female cave explorer bathed in blood)

TECHIE :     Pampering my Profile Page…

Most of you people may have noticed the significant changes (or upgrades so-to-speak) to Friendster’s features and services. With this, I took the opportunity of REVITALIZING my Profile Page. The first thing I did was to upload my personalized background image together with my selection of animated *gif files to my Yahoo! Briefcase account. Then I experimented with the Michael Schmidt’s Friendster Profile Editor to get a hang of how ‘cascading style sheets’ (CSS) formatting works. Fortunately, the learning aspect is quite EASY probably because I’ve had previous experiences with basic ‘hyper text mark up language’ (HTML) construction via Notepad (WOW! This is so prehistoric but quite advance during my high school days).

The first output went just ok but on the following days and after I incorporated the animated GIFs, the images seem to disappear and so I was PUZZLED. Later I realized that the HTML addresses of the images differ overtime when they are hosted in Yahoo and so I eventually made an account in Photobucket.com to remedy the situation. At the moment, the personalized background template and the animated GIFs are already fully functional.

This time, my problem is with the video code because all I see in my Profile Page is a small white blank square. Can someone help me on this? Please…

"Now what could be another term that would describe me as a beaf cake?" (a Friendster User wanting to make his Profile Page look more seductive)